Facelift Post-Op: Week Three...10 More Lessons

21 days post-op. Chubby cheeks and a chipmunk smile. Earlobes still down to my shoulders…but the bruising is almost gone!

***********WARNING ************ GRAPHIC SURGICAL IMAGES ************* WARNING************** GRAPHIC SURGICAL IMAGES*******

It’s been three weeks since my facelift. (Click HERE to see my previous post) Though my face is looking great, there is still some swelling around the temples, cheeks and neck. There is also lots of scabby scar tissue flaking off around my ears and in my hairline (yuk!). This is expected, as I understood it could be up to three months before all the swelling (or at least most of it) would disappear. I also know it can take up to a year for all the swelling and numbness to be gone, and there is a slight chance some could be permanent. There are risks in all things, I had rationed when I decided to go forward with the surgery. Now I am living that truth, and some of it’s a little scary. Some is disheartening. But, my face looks great. Sigh. I’m still waiting to feel “normal”, but expect that will come over time (I hope!).

Right ear. The front part is quite pink but the scabs have mostly scaled off. The top part above my ear is almost normal, but still tender.

Right ear front view on a good day. Three weeks post-op and still a little scary.

Left ear. Still a mess, but at least I can hear again.

Here are 10 Things I’ve Learned since my last post.

I am trying to adjust my expectations. For me, the implied promise “you can return to the gym/do light housework/return to work” in a few days to a couple weeks has failed to materialize. Even moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer can wear me out. I’ve been feeling a lot of vertigo, which may be related to my hearing issues (I remembered hearing liquid bubble into my left ear during surgery, and complained of hearing through ‘cotton’ since the surgery). Though the hearing issue has been resolved, the vertigo remains. I’ve had vertigo before, often due to life stress, so this could be the cause as well.
My face is still changing. I had fat transfer with Meso-Mix (which includes some Botox brand), so it’s hard to tell what’s affecting this aspect of my appearance - the swelling or the Meso-Mix and fat transfer. My smile looks a little weird. I usually have a very broad smile, and the swelling around the front of my ears and temples is giving me a “chubby” appearance. Also, large facial expressions (surprise, laughter) can be painful.
Tightness and swelling can still affect activities. I can’t turn my head very far yet without tightness and some sharp pains in my neck muscles. As a result I have been avoiding driving.
Unusual side effects can happen. For the first two weeks I couldn’t hear well out of my left ear, but was so sick and weak it was the least of my worries. I mentioned this concern when I saw my regular doctor for my annual physical on the second week following the surgery. She noted some dried blood in the ear canal of both ears, but more pronounced on the left. She gave me some advice about how to flush the ears at home. I told her I was nervous about working on my own ears since I still had no sensation in the left side. She then offered to do it for me in her office once the back of my ears (stitches areas) were less tender. After some nervousness, I rinsed my ears at home following her instructions, and her method worked after the third or fourth delicate try. I was grateful for her medical advice, and it especially felt good to know that I wasn’t losing my hearing!
Mild (and sometimes not so mild) depression can strike. As an active person whose day normally starts with an hour of yoga followed by an hour bike ride, it’s been very hard to wait so long for my body to heal. After a couple glasses of wine with my husband on the evening of day 17, I “lost it”. I told him all my worries — that I’d made a huge mistake. That my upright sleeping position and ugly face sling were affecting our intimacy. That I couldn’t tell him when it would be OK for him to touch my face again. That I was frustrated with little to no exercise. I felt like I wasn’t keeping up with my share of the housework or farm chores. Nothing he could say made me feel any better. I also felt betrayed by all the research I had done that said I’d feel better much sooner than this. Why was it taking so long? Why was the numbness on so MUCH of my face? Why isn’t there physical therapy, something I could DO to heal faster? The only thing I found online that helped was a physical therapy site for neck cancer survivors. The light stretches on that site seem to help, but maybe it’s psychosomatic. NOTE: I consulted with my surgeon and she advised against physical therapy, saying the muscles would relax on their own over time).
The jig could be up if someone sees the scars. I’m playing “fake it til you make it” with my best friend. We got together for a couple cocktails on day 20 following surgery. I tried to laugh my normal way. She knew I’d had the fat transfer, so maybe she didn’t say anything because of that. She still is unaware I had a full face and necklift. I am careful to keep my hair combed down over my ears.
The incision sites are still pretty messy. The right side is healing better than the left, and has some sensation in the entire ear. But both areas behind the ear are completely numb from the temples down to the middle of my neck. The areas in front of the ear are also still completely numb for about 1” into either side of my face, but I can feel pressure there when I touch. I describe it as a face that feels like marshmallow topped with skin. And the skin is still hot. I realize this is probably because of all the healing going on, but the heat, numbness and tingling are taking a mental and emotional toll at the three-week mark.
Waking up is hard to do. It’s the worst part of the day, actually. I still try to sleep with my head elevated, but tend to work my way down during the night. When I wake up my neck feels knotted and stiff on both sides. I’m not sure if this is normal. Not a single website mentions this side effect. Only “tightness”. Yes, my skin is tight because of swelling. But the Incredible Hulk neck sensations are really frustrating.
Being patient is easier said than done. I keep expecting every day to get better, and I guess I am healing, but at this point it’s imperceptible. I check my scars daily, and they are healing, but the inside parts still feel angry. The bruises are about 95% gone, so I no longer look like I got mugged. I’m kind of glad we still are wearing masks in public, but the ones that go behind the ears are awful. Glasses are awful! Anything around my ears feels awful. Even though I can’t feel my ears, and that also feels awful.
Try to stay positive! I’m trying to keep a positive attitude and look forward to more healing, and taking it one week at a time. I see my surgeon in a couple of weeks for an assessment. I haven’t called her with any of my concerns or worries because I don’t want to be “that patient”. She is truly an artist, and gave me what I paid for — a perfect neck and total jowl removal! Seriously, I look amazing! Now, if only my nerve endings would grow back…

I’ll write again, hopefully with breakthrough, fabulous news, next week.